Reply to How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying

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Reply to "How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s pretty interesting how the people saying they wouldn’t allow this are basing that answer on their belief that the teens are not mature enough to understand the consequences/might change their minds/might be triggering.

If you are among those saying you would not allow this, please spell out exactly how you would explain that answer to the teens in question, specifically the one with the terminal illness. It’s pretty easy to say, “I’d never allow this” but I suspect many of y’all would be a lot less strident in the face of the actual situation being described.

And to the people who are saying that a small tattoo with dates is “disfigurement” I wonder if you are always so hyperbolic. Also that you and your kids don’t have pierced ears. [/quote]

I wouldn't explain it to the child with cancer because that is not my place.  I would talk with her parents if they wanted an explanation and I would say, as kindly as possible, that I am very sorry but I am unsure that this is the right thing to do for my daughter at this time, but I am willing and able to help in many other ways and would absolutely do that.

People on this thread are getting angry at the parents who are hesitant or not willing to let their kid get a tattoo.  I think it's misdirected.  People have different beliefs and different ways to process grief.  If another parent wants to allow their child to get a tattoo, fine, but my child is not getting my consent to a tattoo before they reach 18.  I don't think it's the right thing to do in this situation and it's a rash and permanent decision and there are other ways to explore how to deal with this grief.  That's just my opinion and hopefully just as I would respect your decision to let you child get a tattoo, you would respect my decision not to.[/quote]

I'm the post right above yours and your comment is helping articulate what's so troubling to me about this.  Forgive me, my words are not always kind here -- but teenagers are not rationale, long-term decision makers.  A person facing the dealth of a loved one may not be a rationale, long-term decision maker.  This post is asking us to combine these two and then allow them to make a permanent choice by the very fact they fall into the two categories above.  And then the posters here assume unkind motivation when the parents' express pause -- that feels really emotionally manipulative to me.  And it does not sit well at all.[/quote]

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