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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Twin mom here - 12 yo g/g

No, don't ask.  Your kids need to have friendships outside of their sibling relationship.[/quote]

Another twin mom. Your girls are older so I'm wondering how you handle when both children consider someone a friend, but only one gets invited? We have always done separate parties and play dates with no problem, but wondering as they get older how to [b]gently say they don't like you[/b] to the one who is not invited?[/quote]

DP
But that is not always how invitation decisions are made. This is when it is beneficial to expand their worlds so each has a separate space with some of their own friends.[/quote]

They have separate friends and interest. As I said, they have had plenty of experience with one being invited and not the other. What is different in this situation is the child comes over frequently and plays with both of them. Both twins consider this child a friend. Now only one is being asked on a playdate. I'm trying to navigate a new situation and would appreciate advice other than what you offered because they already have separate space and friends .[/quote]

Different twin mom here and we had this happen. Twin A was very hurt and asked why we should keep having to have Larlo over to our house when Larlo only ever invites Twin B to things. Larlo/Twin B were initially in class together one year, but the following, Larlo was in activities with twin A, but Larlo’s mom only liked/invited Twin B. I pulled back on inviting Larlo over because it was making twin A feel upset in his own house because it dredging up his awkward feelings about the relationship, allowed twin B to continue to go there if convenient, and then Larlo’s family moved away so it all ended. So I don’t have great advice but I feel for you! [/quote]

I feel the situation with 12 year twins is very different than OP’s case which is very clear cut.

I think your examples are a very good reason to get used to separate play dates and activities NOW. In the future there will undoubtedly be complicated and difficult friendship dynamics. That is is inevitable. The twins will need their parents guidance. In the meantime OP shouldn’t create problems where there aren’t any. Her daughter should go alone. Period.

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