Reply to "the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage"

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to ""the victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage""

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is very 2015 thinking. Psychologist have done much research since.

Marriages are an agreement between 2 adult parties unless it is an arranged marriage or if one is being held hostage.

Affairs are not and agreement between 2 people.
[b]
It is not reasonable to blame somebody for their spouses actions and is a kin to saying: "I wouldn't hit her if she wasn't such a B*tch" or "I drink because he is such a jerk".[/b]

People need to take responsibility for their own actions. If the marriage sucks end it. But... but... but... I don't want to, plain and simple. For the kids, for the money, for selfishness. It's a choice to stay married. It's a breach of an agreement to have an affair.  [/quote]

I agree with this.  I'm sure that some affairs are rooted in problems within the marriage, but that's not an excuse.  Having an affair crosses a huge line, boundary, and the cheater playing a victim doesn't justify it.

If the marriage is sexless, etc., then man up and either say you are going to open up the marriage or want a divorce.  Don't be a coward.

I also think that some infidelity isn't rooted in problems.  Some people don't like monogamy.  I've dated two man like that.  In both instances, we were very serious (in one case living together) and there was nothing wrong.  One of them cheated in previous relationships (I didn't find that out until after we were serious).  The other one (I know for a fact) cheated on his next girlfriend.

Some people want it all.  They want to be able play the field and still have a stable and consistent companion at home.  Sometimes cheating isn't rooted in flaws in the marriage; it is rooted in flaws in the cheater.[/quote]

Absolutely this. You articulated exactly how I feel so we'll.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics