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[quote=Anonymous]I was in the position of your husband. And his lying about what he enjoyed but really didn't was the root of why he's now my ex. He eventually got tired of me continuing to act as though he liked doing all the things he'd faked and not letting him off the hook. I would never in a million years have dated him seriously had I known how he really felt about things that I value. I absolutely wanted to be a mom who took the kids kayaking and fishing and nurtured a love of nature and the outdoors in them. I never once hid that from him, and in fact I intentionally tested him on this several times before we got engaged. Had I known that he wasn't interested in that we wouldn't have lasted longer than a month. It's a huge turn off to me when somebody hates the outdoors.

I hope you realize that your rejection of the cabin activity is insulting to his family of origin. Do you not see how much of who he is is wrapped up in that cabin? If I were you, I'd have a real come to Jesus with myself. You're going to not only lose his affection for you, you're going to make it very clear to your kids what a stick in the mud prissy pants mother they have, and that cannot be good for you in the long run. It's bad enough that you foolishly lied. But don't continue your bad behavior by refusing to find a way to make this work. This is your chance to raise children who appreciate something that really matters to him. Don't blow it.

I actually just had a conversation with our fishing boat captain at the beach about a similar situation. He obviously loves being out on the water and loves to fish, but his wife doesn't. But he knew that about her from the beginning and chose to marry her anyhow. It certainly isn't a compromise I would make. But at least it's on him to live with his choice, and he gets that. You chose to marry a man who loves his musty rural cabin and kayaking, and who wants to share this with his own family. He didn't withhold any info about this from you. You knowingly accepted the man and his cabin. Even if you'd continued living across the country from this cabin, you had to know that outdoor activities would be a big part of your family life together. Don't even try to deny that. Now it's time for you to make good on your commitment to him and the life he offered you. You have absolutely no right to make him endure your pouting. Take it from me, it is almost certainly infuriating to him to see you act like that now and it's chipping away at his love for you. And don't for one minute think that there are not dozens of women who would love to have a man who wants to spend weekends with his wife and kids at a remote cabin. You can be replaced very easily and few people will think he was wrong to leave you, especially his family.

I do believe that something is causing you to have headaches and itchy eyes or whatever. But you need to have the cabin tested for mold and remediate any problems, and you need to have your doc work with you to find the right medication to stop the reactions. Good luck. You do realize that plenty of parents take medications so that their children can experience raising a cat or dog, right? Your allergies are not an excuse if you don't even try to control them. [/quote]

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