Reply to Never get second or third date. Why am I so easy to pass over?

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Reply to "Never get second or third date. Why am I so easy to pass over?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, it sounds like you're working too hard on screening your dates for a long term match. Maybe just let that go for a while and go on dates just to have fun for a night. If it leads to more, cool. If not, no biggie.[/quote]

+1. This is what I was thinking too. You seem very analytical, focused on future potential instead of just enjoying the conversation in the moment. Too in your head. People don't like feeling like they are being analyzed and matched up against a checklist. They are just looking for a fun time or a connection right here and now, for its own sake. I would try to focus less on evaluating whether this is going to work long term (you just aren't going to get enough information to know that yet from one date) and just try to enjoy the date for its own sake. I think it's possible that the people you are going out with can sense that you are hyper focused on evaluating them and very in your head about whether they are compatible enough with you, and that is going to ruin any chance of an actual organic authentic connection in the moment. Will make them feel like they are under a microscope.

On the first date, truly, just try to have a good time. Keep an open mind and don't start to evaluate whether it's a good fit yet. After you get to the second and third dates you can start to think more critically about whether this could really be a good long term match for you.[/quote]

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