Reply to GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought

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Reply to "GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Something doesn't add up.  She was intrigued by the offer, which is why she accepted and brought the friend to justify actually following through with it.  If she were not interested she would have shut the door instantly. 
[/quote]

I agree and asked her about this.

Here is her answer--obvi paraphrasing.

"In my marriage I ended up with no friends of my own. We had lots of friends as a couple but I didn't really have my own.  In divorcing, I am determined to have a cadre of my own friends, men and women.  When this guy called, I figured he is in my circle.  I see him at games and such.  He could be a friend."

This is both why she said she wanted to go; And, why she said she didn't invite me to go with.

I offer that without comment, not that I don't have feelings around it.

By the way, I'm all for her having a circle of friends that she sees, talks to and so on--men and women.  I wouldn't want to take that away from her.  I think it is good for her and us.  I want her to be happy.

That said, what I asked here remains my concern: was this "date-not-date" really a friend thing?  Should I be concerned about it?

I'm good with her doing friend things with guys who aren't trying to f*^k her, but if the guy wants that, it doesn't seem like a fiend thing to me--and not something I can go along with.[/quote]

You sound controlling, and she is no doubt out of your league. She is an adult and can manage her friendships without you picking apart every interaction. She is trying to be upfront with you about what happened and you still won’t let it go! She didn’t go on a date with him, he asked for advice as a friend, and she is smart enough to know he might be into her and so she brought someone to set him up with. Sounds like she handled it perfectly and you are still whiney. Grow up, or move on and let her date a real man who isn’t so insecure. [/quote]

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