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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Women spend their whole lives figuring out how to gently let men down without making it awkward (or even deadly). Men can be really nasty if you don't, and she has a relationship to maintain here for her daughter's sake. [/quote] +1 If that guy doesn't figure out that she's not interested, he's a moron. She took his statements at face value (he wanted her advice on dating) as a way to let him down easy. [/quote] Taking him at face value is how she lets him save face. It was "just as a friend." "Just for advice," so no reason not to bring along someone else, right? And she talks about you and how happy she is, but now he can pretend it was just "as a friend" and he "got his advice" from the happily partnered and gregarious woman who is, after all, "just a friend." Obviously. This is how women have to play the game. This means he doesn't have to swallow the feeling of being rejected which, often, would be acted out on her instead of being swallowed and dealt with.[/quote] No, that is not how women [i]have [/i]to play the game. If they're not interested, they can say so. It is not even how women [i]actually do[/i] play the game. If they're not interested, they make it totally clear. They won't meet you some place for drinks. But she did not do that in this case. SHE is the one who is pretending she met him "just as a friend". That (and bringing her pal along) was her cover for having a date with this guy. The only question is whether or not the OP is weak enough to let her get away with it.[/quote] What percentage of the time do you think a woman -- an attractive, friendly, gregarious unmarried woman -- gets "taught a lesson" in some manner by a guy she interacts with regularly, after flatly rejecting him?[/quote] Zero. The guy just goes away. [/quote] And that tells anyone reading all they need to know about the accuracy and judgment underlying (or not) your opinion.[/quote]
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