Reply to Family pressure for son’s name

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as another compromise, what about a great grandfather's name or using the grandfather's middle name?

I also disagree with the sentiment that following a cultural and family tradition is anti-woman.  It's not.  Traditions can be meaningful to a family and create a sense of history and belonging for a child.  They can also evolve over time, but I don't think it should be thrown out flippantly. 
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Not all traditions are anti-woman, but this one clearly is, given that it cuts the mother out of naming her own child, as well as [b]ensuring her child can’t be named to honor anyone on her side of the family.[/b]  It doesn’t get much more anti-women than that.[/quote]
DP here. And I don't see this. They could pick a middle name that is from the mom's side. If it's helpful, DH has his father's first name. His middle name is his maternal uncle's (who died very young) first name. He goes by his middle name. DH is white, and these choices weren't cultural/traditional...but this kind of thing is completely doable. Interestingly, DH's first name is very common in the US, whereas his middle name is not and often bungled by Americans (would not be in the UK). He goes by it nonetheless.[/quote]

If that’s equal, they can pick Hani as a middle name, right?

Also I understood in a previous post the same tradition has the fathers name as the middle. So the tradition cuts out the woman entirely. But that’s ok she’s just carrying and delivering and caring for the child, why should the fact that she dislikes the name matter?[/quote]

Not exactly. Majority of Arabs simply don’t have middle names. Name is the following: “x, son of y, son of z, son of m, son of…. ,last name. With a girl it would be “x, daughter of y, son of z, son of m, son of…. Last name.” So lots of Arabs dunno where to put “son of y son of z of of m” so then they just put fathers name is middle name spot. But it’s not a middle name and the “son of” part can go on forever. Other Arabs living in the west don’t make this substitution and instead adopt the western practice of giving their child a middle name.  And others just leave it blank. So basically there is no middle name tradition in the Arab world. Arabs living here are confused over what to put as the middle name. Some pick a middle name, some just substitute the fathers name (which is not a middle name) and others leave it blank. For our daughters we put my husbands name. Out of our friends, two families did what we did, 3 left it blank, and 5 families picked a middle name for their child. [/quote]

Right...so the tradition is to only honor the fathers side. Since none of those son-ofs have anything to do with the mother/brood mare.  [/quote]

+1.

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