Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Other way around. I told DH that we weren't having enough sex. While he seemed content and with little interest, I was not very happy. I told him how displeased and unsatisfied I was. It did manage to turn things around and he's making more of an effort to initiate. We've both made adjustments.

So yes, it does work when one party communicates with the other party. If you're not happy, why would you keep it to yourself?[/quote]

+1.  I find it odd that so many people here think the issue shouldn't be discussed and, to the extent its a dealbreaker, to let your partner know.[/quote]

I mentioned in one of these threads that communicating this to my wife was actively counterproductive. In addition to the existing reasons for not wanting to have sex with me (her body image issues, hormones, lack of novelty in a long-term marriage) now she had the pressure of knowing that I was not happy with our sex life which added to her lack of libido. And, when she did have sex with me, it wasn't as good because I now had the suspicion she might just be doing it out of a sense of obligation. [/quote]

Just curious--do you and/or your DW utilize any marital aids? (that require batteries or cords). Personally, they changed my life. Whew. I first explored manually, but as a woman I had no idea what I was missing until I ventured out in my 20s into more 'adult' options. Sorry you are going through what you are going through. It is sad, but a lot of women are done a great disservice by society and their parents (and family) on so many levels. (Shaming as we develop, overattention to our developing bodies, weight, later comments about when/if/how we will get pregnant, etc.) It is a real mfcK. And to get through as woman unscathed, and to still want sex, seems a miracle.

Some women need to really take time and learn their bodies, learn what makes them feel good, learn every inch of their bodies, LOVE every inch of their bodies and almost make it homework. It is a process, and it will feel like 'work,' but the payoff can be amazing. Deep down, we have to decide that we [i]deserve[/i] pleasure. Unfortunately some of us do not get real heart-to-heart talks about relationships, compromise, [b]real[/b] intimacy, etc.[/quote]

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