Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Other way around. I told DH that we weren't having enough sex. While he seemed content and with little interest, I was not very happy. I told him how displeased and unsatisfied I was. It did manage to turn things around and he's making more of an effort to initiate. We've both made adjustments.

So yes, it does work when one party communicates with the other party. If you're not happy, why would you keep it to yourself?[/quote]

+1.  I find it odd that so many people here think the issue shouldn't be discussed and, to the extent its a dealbreaker, to let your partner know.[/quote]

Absolutely. Sex is a BFD in a marriage. If you're sexually dissatisfied, that has the potential to poison other areas of your marriage. You need to talk about your sex life as openly and honestly as you can. Communication is the key to saving a marriage. I wanted more sex. My DH didn't realize that - or kept forgetting. So I let him know when I was ready to blow my lid. Wish I'd done it earlier and we'd have saved a lot of heartache. So, talk to your spouses, folks. Tell them you want more, less, or what have you. Hopefully, your partner will realize the importance of the matter before ultimatums have to be made. [/quote]

I was the DW who wished the topic had never come up because it just made things worse. I’m glad things worked out for you but nobody’s experience works for everybody.

I will say that talking is great when you have good tools for having the conversation. But my husband read some articles that had some terribly  bad information (like some of the comments here) and approached it in a way that was counterproductive. Then I responded by feeling very ashamed and trying a bunch of stuff that absolutely didn’t work. We were just kind of flying blind and I didn’t want to start having sex again until DH stopped being resentful that I didn’t want it as much as i did before.

Now I know why I want to have sex and why I don’t want to have sex and the conversation would have been better. But most people just have so much bad information about sex and so mere communication between partners is of limited use. [/quote]

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