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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother would probably fit the bill, at least when I was growing up. She didn't work for most of my childhood , though taught a college class every once in a while. I guess she harbored dreams of finishing her PhD but never happened. My dad was a professor so we were not wealthy but somehow we had a live in housekeeper (Mon thru Fri) so my mom never cleaned and rarely cooked. When I was a tween I had a local college student drive me to my ballet classes most afternoons  My dad was very hands on despite a busy job. He'd do all mornings, drive us around weekend etc. My mom slept a ton, would fritter time away, was very disorganized. I don't have memories big her doing stuff with us. She was either sleeping or brooding or in a rage. But then she might spend four days preparing an elaborate dinner party for 18, and would be frenzied, euphoric, stressed and then would withdraw for a week. When my dad left her, I took care if her. Cooked, cleaned, organized my rides until I could drive, etc

It's very sad. My mom was a brilliant student and could have been a brilliant no professor (speaks multiple languages, reads scholarly books lrb etc  all the time) but she has deep seated mental health issues (borderline, deep depression and anxiety) probably should not have had kids . I don't recall a single time that I've gone to get for support. From the outside it looks lazy but she was incredibly unhappy. Not surprisingly my brother married someone similarly dysfunctional who doesn't work [/quote]

You sound really grounded and kind. I'm sorry for your mom's issues and their effect on you.[/quote]

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