Reply to Any way to disinvite a cousin from an annual beach reunion

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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds like there may have been years where cousin was the only one without a kid. She was likely passively doing a lot of little things that helped during this time, that would not have been reciprocated. I wonder if cousin has felt like she has done a lot of “helping” during these vacations, when other people’s kids became a main focus of them. I suspect that she has decided to let you all build and manage your own whirlwind of activity and hang back. I say this as someone who starts to hang back when I am around families or friends who have a lot going on, and seem to want things to be done a certain way and I don’t want to either be swept up into their pace, or do things the “wrong way” and end up annoying or upsetting then.  People who do a lot, don’t always realize that they are doing too much and expecting others to help them do too much.

I agree with PP who identified passive aggressive approaches on both sides. I also would love to know what all of this looked like to cousin. And I also don’t know why she needs to be topping off drinks for folks as a way of pitching in. If she is literally sitting around expecting to be served hand and foot every single year, it’s a problem. If she makes a small mess and is expecting to clean up a big family’s mess all day long every day, then it may not be fair to her. [/quote]

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