Reply to Any way to disinvite a cousin from an annual beach reunion

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I also think you should pick up the phone and talk to her - not in a “WTF you did nothing so it’s over” type of way. But more along the lines of, ‘now that we’re home, I’m reflecting on how much harder and frustrating this vacation was vs a long time ago. Can you help me process this? ‘ and then ask a lot of questions:
1) how was your week? What worked? Anything feel frustrating to you?
2).tell me more about the night you were supposed to cook dinner. What happened? 
3) we are on vacation and we aren’t on vacation to tip toe around your husband who is working. Why didn’t he go Hoke to do his zoom calls?
4) group vacations only work if we all pitch in. I couldn’t help but notice that you and Larlo weren’t pitching in like everyone else (I felt disrespected when we had to do all the cleaning, picking up and take care of all the kids with no help from you or Larlo). That just doesn’t work for us - is there something else going on with you to create an expectation that we do the work and you don’t pitch in at all?

Cuz, I’ll be honest, we’re not doing another summer vacation like that one. You will either need to stay at your house and come over for beach visits and the occasional dinner or will need to really change the way you show up that week.“

And maybe give her one more chance. But lay out the expectations very clearly. And if it’s not working next summer, call her out in the moment and say that she didn’t live up to her agreement so it’s the last summer.

OP, I do think you should have had this conversation at the beach house. “Larva, what the heck? You and Larlo are in charge of dinner. We all have our turns. This really ain’t working.”  “Really, Larla, you are standing at the bar with a full bottle of wine and can’t even be bothered to top off Susie’s glass? She’s right there. Give that poor, tired mama some more wine.”  “Serioslly, Larla. Kitchen duty is on you and Larlo tonight. We’re taking the kids for a walk. I can’t believe I have to suggest to a grown adult to pull her own weight.”
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This is a really good approach. Try this, OP. (And the autocorrects are hilarious! 😂) [/quote]

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