Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,  I think you are feeling adrift.  You have lost your parents and you are an only child.  You are seeking comfort and support in your remaining family, and they just aren't capable of providing it.  You need to move on.  I know it is scary to seem alone in the world... I'm an only child too, and I know that once my parents are gone, I will have to rely on any support structure that I have built for myself.  Kids may or may not be there for you.  Spouses, too.  Try to build a network of friends and a community around you.  Host gatherings, volunteer, offer help to new mothers and to friends going through health crises.  In the end, there are no guarantees, but it may help you feel less alone.[/quote]

Thanks for your feedback. You describe it very accurately. I do feel adrift, and increasingly so as I get older myself.

When I moved overseas I was in my 20s and I only looked at the short to medium term future. Perhaps that was a mistake, but someone in their 20s sees things differently to a person in their 40s or 50s. In your 20s the world is your oyster.

My husband has been incredibly supportive all this time. Yet sometimes his love and support are no substitute for the bond I would have had with my parents, had they been alive.

My adopted country is English speaking, and, however well I have integrated here, I sometimes find it quite hard to talk about things that only people at home (= where I grew up) would 'get', if that makes sense. It's one reason why I wish I had a closer relationship with my remaining family at home.

I sometimes worry about my own old age, and how best to plan for it. DH is 9 years older than me. If he should pass before I do, I'll have to decide whether to stay here or to go back and spend the rest of my life in a familiar environment, but with no family around. A hard choice.
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Are there any expat groups you could join where you live? My Aunt grew up in the UK  and found an English group that met monthly and loved it. It gave her some  of the things you are missing. [/quote]

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