Reply to I absolutely hate the way my 13yoDD dresses

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I disagree with the premise the society pressures women and girls to cover up.  In my experience over almost 50 years, society pressures young women and teen girls to display their bodies.  Boys never walk around with their bellies on display or their ass cheeks hanging out.  Why?   Because it’s generally not comfortable and they don’t feel the need to display their bodies in order to garner positive attention.  Putting aside things like girls going run a run or out on a very hot day, I think it’s indisputable that most girls are doing this either to attract the male gaze or to satisfy some societal expectation of what is feminine or in.  (Note all the threads on this site about women looking dowdy or like an old lady if they wear bathing suits that cover their ass or their stomach.)
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It's both.

The age-old dilemma that you're a slut if you have sex, and you're a prude if you don't. You're not cool if you don't wear revealing clothes, but if you do, you're trashy and skanky.

Males absolutely walk around displaying their bodies. I worked at a gym, and it was always the guys who would take their shirts off long before they even started sweating, then walk around flexing for the attention. And they wear short shorts. Ever hear of Ranger panties?

If the problem is the male gaze, [b]then we need to fix the male gaze[/b], not put the onus on females. Teach your boys not to objectify females. Men need to understand it's not okay to sexualize teenagers.

My European friends don't get what the big deal is. They see bodies as just bodies. Stomachs are just a body part, legs are just a body part, no need to keep them covered up. Even breasts are no big deal. Not everything has to be sexualized.

[/quote]
Please... we might as well pop out men's eyes.  Ain't gonna happen, ever.

Also, this is a 13 yr old girl we are talking about, dressing to show off her body.  That's not appropriate.

Also, my DH is from the UK, and he recently went to his friend's house, and their 13 yr old girl was wearing a tube top. She is very large chested.   He found the way she dressed inappropriate.[/quote]

So females have to alter how they dress because men can’t control themselves? Hello, rape culture. [/quote]
Females should be careful when they  go out, period. That's just reality.  It would be nice if we didn't have to, but that's not reality, and you do a disservice to your DD if you don't teach her what real life is like.

Please teach your DD that if she walks down a dark alley at night, she may get mugged or worse. So, don't do it.

Please teach your DD that if she gets rip roaring drunk, she is an easy target for getting raped.

Please teach your DD that if you display your wares, there are pervy men who will look.  No one has the right to touch you, but you can't stop them from looking unless you gouge their eyes out.

I'd love life to be all puppy dogs and rainbows, where there is no rape, girls aren't sexualized, every child is loved and has plenty to eat, but that's not reality.[/quote]

So wearing a crop top is the same as walking down an alley at night? Smh.

My daughters know they have the right to wear whatever they want, and if any man thinks it gives them the right to disrespect them or touch them, law enforcement gets involved.

Research has shown over and over that the “don’t get drunk” warnings simply don’t work. Bystander training is much more effective. [/quote]
?  It's an example of things to warn your children about. Seriously, why are you being so obtuse.

Why not let your 13 yr old wear a teeny tiny bikini and a thong if you think men should control themselves?

Of course people have a right to wear what they want? And others have a right to ogle.  How will your DD react when a perv ogles her? Will she like the attention or be grossed by it, you think?

I can't believe you think a bystander will help your DD if she gets rip roaring drunk.

You are so naive and live in la la land.[/quote]

Are you from the medieval ages or what?

Yes, my 16 year old DD wears a thong bikini. It is her choice and she is comfortable in it. She likes the attention. It is healthy and normal. And yes men should control themselves!!!! Look and ogle all you want but you do not have a right to anything more.[/quote]

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