Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

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Reply to "Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Hi, OP here. 27 is not a child, but I had always been interested in travelling and the wider world, ever since I was a young teenager. My parents also liked spending vacations in other countries.

My parents supported my decision to move overseas, especially my Mom, who never got the career opportunities I got. She had me when she was barely 21 years old. Dad was 24.

[b]I supported my ailing parents to the best of my abilities, within the means that I had, and within our geographical limits. You are right in the sense that I could have offered my parents more hands-on, practical support if I had stayed nearby. But I didn't...[/b]
And so many people in the US don't either. What if you're an only child and your parents live several states away? Surely you cannot be with them 24/7 ...?
Or what if you meet a future partner from a different state, where do you decide to settle down, near your parents, or his/hers? It's not that simple.[/quote]
What exactly are you looking for here, OP?  If supporting them in their old age was a priority for you, then you wouldn't have moved so far away.  You seem to be struggling with the reality that you chose what was best for you over what was best for your family.  It wasn't a wrong choice, but it had consequences. I suspect that you knew that at the time, which is why you are feeling so guilty. There is no real solution here other than getting yourself some therapy and making peace with yourself.

No, I didn't know this at the time. When I moved overseas I was 27, Mom was 48 and Dad 51. They were young and healthy, as far as I knew. Little did I know that their health would start to decline so soon. And no one in our family expected this either.

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