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[quote=Anonymous]OP, taking to heart something an above poster said about giving concrete advice, here is a thought I hope you will consider:

What would you do if it really mattered to you? Like really, top priority, let’s sit down and look at this like a team and problem solve mattered to you? Right now I feel like you’re asking how to make this problem go away so you can enjoy your wealthy lifestyle but I’m going to imagine you asked, how can I help my daughter not be forever impacted by my choice to remarry?

Some will sound crazy. But that’s what we do when things really matter right?

What if you refinanced your home at the current stupidly low interest rates to fund your daughters college, writing up legal documents that she owes you and your husband that money, but saving her the absurd interest rates charged on public school?

What if you moved to a state with really killer state schools? If she’s a good student UC Berkeley might be a hell of a lot more appealing than UMD.

What if you worked with her to legally emancipate herself? I believe that would make her eligible for loans (though you will need to work out health insurance)

What if she did two years at a community college and transferred for two to a dream school so she gets her diploma there— maybe in the next three years you could come up with $150K

What if you co-sign her loans and tell her, look, I have only been able to save for the last five years as you know but there is no reason in the next ten I can’t give you another $70,000 (or whatever— I am really shocked in five years married to a wealthy man you saved less than $6k per year for your daughters college...surely you could do more than that in the future?)

I am sure there are more.  But I think I would have more love and respect for a mother who sat down and seriously tried everything to help me rather than someone who handed me a little money and expected me to go away.[/quote]

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