Reply to what do SAHMs do once kids are in school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have not problem with women staying home and I'm sure they can fill their days, or have a lot of time to relax, or whatever. It just struck me from the many posts about how their staying home keeps DH stress free, and while I agree that if DH was making my salary + his and I stayed home, he may be less stressed, I just would resent the hell out of him. We both love our jobs, maybe that is why. Between activities and school and DH going in late to cover mornings while I go in early and get home earlier, the kids are either with him or at school/activities at least 35 hours a week, which is a nice amount of time for me to make a living. I realize not everyone wants this and that's fine...it just struck me that all these DH's have stress-free lives and the moms are doing a lot of household management. But, I suppose it's not a sacrifice if you don't mind it or would rather not be working.

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I doubt many of us have DHs whose lives are stress free. It isn't about trying to keep his life stress free it is about reducing the stress in all of our lives. This isn't about scurrying around so your DH never has to do anything or trying to anticipate his every whim. It is about household management that allows for a relaxed, less stress home environment that isn't rushed and includes a lot of quality time together and still able to get to activities/early bedtimes/date nights/time with the kids. We both greatly value what the other brings to the household and we both realize and appreciate the sacrifices each has made to enable their part. Both our lives have stress - his working reduces my stress, my household management reduces his stress - together we reduce the kids stress. It is a win-win-win.  [/quote]

I wasn't speaking to your personally. My point is it is only a win-win if you don't resent giving up a career. It sounds like you don't have that resentment, so it's a win-win for you. I was just saying in our family it works differently. My husband participates more in child care by nature of me working (he wouldn't go in late so he could be with the kids before school, for example) and he would cover fewer sick days, etc., so I feel like that is an important aspect of us sharing duties. And I would be giving up a nice job and a nice income, and I doubt I would be able to return in my 50s when both kids are out of the house. In your family, it sounds like you both share duties, just divided up differently. Different strokes. Makes sense to me and it's nice to hear other's viewpoints.[/quote]

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