Reply to what do SAHMs do once kids are in school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have not problem with women staying home and I'm sure they can fill their days, or have a lot of time to relax, or whatever. It just struck me from the many posts about how their staying home keeps DH stress free, and while I agree that if DH was making my salary + his and I stayed home, he may be less stressed, I just would resent the hell out of him. We both love our jobs, maybe that is why. Between activities and school and DH going in late to cover mornings while I go in early and get home earlier, the kids are either with him or at school/activities at least 35 hours a week, which is a nice amount of time for me to make a living. I realize not everyone wants this and that's fine...it just struck me that all these DH's have stress-free lives and the moms are doing a lot of household management. But, I suppose it's not a sacrifice if you don't mind it or would rather not be working.

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I doubt many of us have DHs whose lives are stress free. It isn't about trying to keep his life stress free it is about reducing the stress in all of our lives. This isn't about scurrying around so your DH never has to do anything or trying to anticipate his every whim. It is about household management that allows for a relaxed, less stress home environment that isn't rushed and includes a lot of quality time together and still able to get to activities/early bedtimes/date nights/time with the kids. We both greatly value what the other brings to the household and we both realize and appreciate the sacrifices each has made to enable their part. Both our lives have stress - his working reduces my stress, my household management reduces his stress - together we reduce the kids stress. It is a win-win-win.  [/quote]

I'm glad you see it that way. But, it strikes me that dads who don't participate in the day-to-day care of their children don't bond with them as much as dads who do. Also, I hope that you have some financial arrangements set up for you alone. Also, I worry about kids not seeing their mothers use their degrees to work OTH and choosing to depend on their husbands and families for fulfillment, both financial and emotional. It's only win-win-win if you see in one way. IMO, there are going to be trade-offs if you SAH, and you need to be honest about them.[/quote]

Why would you think dad doesn't participate in day to day care. He participates just as much as a working mom does as he is home and doing child related things evenings and weekends. I do not depend on my husband solely for emotional fulfillment and I am not less of a role model for my children compared to a working mother. I have contributed to the finances of the home - I paid the down payment when we bought it. I can't really identify with any aspect of your perception of a SAHM as it doesn't describe me or my life in any way. [/quote]

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