Reply to Single Guy Friend (33) Can't Find a Girlfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He thinks he wants to be in a relationship, but he doesn’t. Having really high expectations/demands is less about “not finding” someone who has all those unrealistic expectations. It’s about his own ambivalence about being vulnerable in a real adult relationship.

He’s subconsciously keeping himself out of relationships because he’s afraid to be vulnerable. He’s expecting perfection in a twisted way to prevent breaking up and the heartbreak that follows. If I find the perfect woman, we’ll never break up and I’ll never feel that pain.

It shows me that he is weak psychologically. He can’t be vulnerable, get close and risk getting hurt. [/quote]

+1 The guys I know that are older and not dating anyone seriously are afraid to be vulnerable and get hurt. They can be super fun at parties and successful in their careers but they also think that they are right all the time and do not take opposing opinions well. They also talk about topics in the theoretical but do not share anything personal about them and their struggles. Also, they have high standards of beauty. I wish I could help them but I’m not in a position to offer unsolicited advice. [/quote]

This is the previously identified traditional gender role example. These guys are modernized and will do plenty of childcare and contribute to finances. But they are traditional in a sense that they don't value other people's opinions, esp their spouses'.

I have a few male friends that fit into this description, according to them, talking about science/math/engineering topics is superior to talking about literature/philosophy/personal experiences. They often label the women friends as inferior because women don't understand how nuclear power plant is built and stuff like that. Imagine an eligible single woman seeing that and subconsciously carry this impression on to dating app filter function... [/quote]

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