Reply to The mysterious marriage and dating market

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "The mysterious marriage and dating market "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Like the famous poster says, "The common element in all of your failed relationships is you."

If a guy complained about how all the girls he dated turned out to be gold diggers, or BSC, or cheaters, or alcoholics, etc... what would you say?

I think the reasonable advice would be, "maybe prioritize finding a stable well adjusted person -first-, then start working down the rest of your list."

There are tons of good quality single men and women who would make wonderful spouses out there looking for the same.

If you can't find one and always seem to end up with a disaster you are either, a disaster yourself (the people you want will avoid you) or you aren't doing enough to avoid the wrong people.

Take your time getting to know someone before getting into a relationship.  Pay attention to warning signs early on.  If they seem crazy, or hyper-critical, etc, [b]it will only get worse[/b].

I personally made this mistake twice, beautiful, intelligent, exciting, fun, flaky girls... who turned out to be absolute lunatics, hard drugs in one case and just plain nuts in the other.  Experiences bad enough to make me lose any interest in their type.

Assume bad boys/bros/serial hookups aren't going to change.

Assume women who try to figure out your financial status at the outset of a relationship are cancer.

If your first couple dates involve drinking, try a couple dates without alcohol.

Pay attention to how people speak about others who are not present.  If someone is always trashing their coworkers/friends/family/exs/etc, bail.

[b]Values and core personality traits are relative constants.[/b]  Looks, incomes, hobbies/interests, etc, change.

On the day after we got married in our mid-/early-twenties (respectively) we sat down and worked through our finances.  We had ~$5k between us, no CC debt, but a negative net worth if you account for student loans.

Life has given us so much more than we could have asked for.  We have a loving relationship, healthy children, and yes, high earning jobs and nice things.

We both married someone with ambition, values, a work ethic, and a willingness to put up with their partner's flaws.

Blah blah blah, OP, if I can give you one sentence to remember:

Look for a good person.  Don't try to find out what they make, find out who they are.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics