Reply to I’m happy being a SAHM, except when others talk about it like I’m some kind of sucker

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Reply to "I’m happy being a SAHM, except when others talk about it like I’m some kind of sucker"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never ever say this IRL but... I just think SAHMs are kind of dumb and useless . Like all they can talk about is their children. And most of them, even the ones with kids in school, don’t do anything for the community. They’re pretty lazy TBH. I dunno, if you enjoy the life, great. It seems like kind of a waste though [/quote]

Completely agree. And I was SAHM for a little while. There’s something about being SAHM that dulls the brain, the curiosity, the sharpness, the synthesizing that is needed to thrive when working outside the home. That part of the brain just isn’t exercised anymore and then everything else gets loose including hours in the day. Hence the laziness. I know only one SAHM that is truly interesting and that’s because she working on plans to launch her own business.[/quote]

Wow, this is not my personal experience at all. My years as a SAHM were some of the most intellectually fruitful of my adult life. I read so much more, so I always had a new novel or nonfiction book to think about or discuss. And reading across genres allowed me to make connections and think deeply about things in a way I hadn't been able to in years because my brain had been consumed with office politics or the more mundane details of my job.

Being a SAHM also exposed me to a much broader collection of people and jobs. Instead of going to my office and spending most of the day with people with my same educational background and similar job, talking about the same industry-specific topics. Even my socializing had gotten really predictable -- when everyone you socialize with is in your same socioeconomic class and has a similar job and background to you, you just wind up talking about a lot of the same topics and people tend to have really similar opinions about things and its really not that intellectually stimulating.

But as a SAHM, I spent time with all kinds of people. I got to know the people who own our local bookstore and the librarians at our public library. I met other SAHMs from totally different backgrounds -- young women with husbands in the military, women in grad school, women from diplomat families from foreign countries. I loved talking to them and getting totally different takes on everything from parenting to current events to social issues.

I took up different hobbies as a SAHM that I don't think I would ever have stumbled upon without having the extra time and the freedom in my schedule. I started sketching in a sketch book and got pretty good, and found it was a great stress reliever. When my kid got older, we'd go to art museums and bring paper and drawing utensils and sit and draw while we looked at great works of art.

And when my kid had an interest, I'd investigate it with her and learn all kinds of things myself. Some of it was stuff I'd known once and forgotten, about space or dinosaurs or food. And some of it was new information. I'd teach her about the planets and that would spark my curiosity and I'd pick up an adult book on the history of astronomy at the library. Honestly, it was like being in college again. I loved it. I hit a point where I needed to go back to work for a variety of reasons, but the idea that being a SAHM made me dull or boring or only interested in my kid or housework is laughable to me.

To quote one of Betty Draper's rare truisms: Boring people are bored. If being a SAHM makes you dumb and useless, I'm guessing you are also pretty dumb and useless at work, too. You might feel more important because you're making money, but the odds that your job is interesting or actually useful to society in any real way are extremely slim.[/quote]

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