Reply to Does you relationship change if you stay home ( for moms)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look, you need to stop worrying about this and do whatever you want to do.  I’m sorry to be a witch, but doctors don’t marry nurses because they are impressed with their career ambition.  (Frankly, most doctors don’t have a lot of respect for people in any other career path at all.  And I say this as a psychiatrist, which is definitely the minivan of specialties.)
If he isn’t looking at you as “just a nurse” now, then he won’t look at you as “just a mom” when you SAH.  [/quote]

Lol the minivan of specialties...I lol'ed at this. I'm an ER doc, which is maybe the Toyota of specialities (it ain't fancy but it'll get you there?)...anyway OP just chiming in to say the utility of your career as an NP is super high. I have no idea how your marital dynamic will change staying home. What I can say is that mid-level providers (or APPs, whatever your preferred terminology is), have the absolute best of both worlds in medicine. You have better hours than we do as MDs, less liability, better overall happiness (studies bear this out), and less debt. You may earn less, but on avg APPs still exceed or approach 6 figures. I say all this to point out that if there's any way to satisfy your desire to stay home with your babies (which I totally get) but keep a foot in your career to transition back at some point, you absolutely will want to do this. You have the golden goose of careers: meaningful, lucrative, stable. The economics of medicine just don't favor docs anymore. Most of our groups are owned by hedge funds who think we're too expensive and could give 2 sh*ts that most of us went 200K+ into debt to earn our degree. That was the medicine of the 80's and we're not there anymore, so it's on us to pay our debts off and survive in this landscape. It's not great, I'll tell you. But as a midlevel your desirability will go up, not down, for the next 2 decades, which are your earning years. All this is to say I'd look at this less as how your husband will regard you, and more from a standpoint of the smartest plan, and do that. The rest of the stuff has a way of working out when you approach it that way. And if it's a disaster, you can reassess. But disconnecting from a clinical career for too long makes it super hard to go back. You will want to eventually. Just keep that door cracked open.[/quote]

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