Reply to Divorcing husband for not contributing to household chores

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the casual attitude toward divorce is awful. The advice should be to marry a man who agrees with your clear expectations on these things. Marry a man who will talk things through, is a good listener, will compromise, and isn't selfish. Marry a feminist. Not "lose your kids for 50% of the time and show them it's okay to walk away when things get hard despite no abuse." Y'all are f'ing up your kids.[/quote]

I am not recommending my kids get married. It is not worth it. Also, my ex was none of those things (he would not compromise, was selfish and barely spoke to me). It is not okay to stay in a marriage that is lopsided or miserable. That is bad for kids. Showing them that it is okay to put your needs first is the most valuable thing I can do. I was raised the opposite and look where I ended up (getting into a marriage that was not good from the start (and had a lot of pressure to marry) and staying due to pressure to stay....um, wrong.). There is a difference between marriages with love and ups and downs than a marriage where there is no respect or caring or love--then you leave.[/quote]

That’s kind of sad to put your baggage on them.  Most people do better in life with partners.  Why not instead teach them how to have good boundaries and find people who treat them with respect? The best way to teach this is to model it yourself. [/quote]

They can do what they want. But I am not pushing marriage as the end all be all. I had a lot of pressure. It was wrong and not worth it. I do not think it is a good institution for women at all in this day in age. I do not agree that most people do better in life with partners. [b]I have seen no marriages in my life I think are worth it. Not one.[/b][/quote]

That's ridiculously sad. I am definitely better off with my husband as my partner. I would say the majority of my friends are as well. We all work, which maybe has something to do with it (the two SAHMs are now divorced...). [/quote]

Almost everyone I know works (both spouses and still, no marriages that seem good to me). My cousin does not (bad marriage too). I do not think working vs. not working makes much difference. I do not see one marriage I would want to be in. My aunts and uncles marriages did not look good either nor were my parents or my exH's parents.[/quote]

Are all these marriages in the same SES level? I do know of some issues in some friends' marriages, but honestly, most of us are very happily married. We're all MC-UMC. I don't know if that makes a difference. [/quote]

Yes. All the same socioeconomic level. All educated. Many with postgrad/professional degrees.[/quote]

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