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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, how many children to you have, how old are they, any of them married, and insight if they are choosing to be childless? [/quote]

This is a good question.  I see that OP is in pain, but her anger comes through very strongly.  She may alienate her children even if she thinks she is holding back and being careful.  I would see a therapist.  Whether your kids eventually procreate you want to maintain ties.  I’m not sure my mom realizes how her years of complaining about how I wasn’t interested in kids soured things even after I started a family.  And she believed she was holding her tongue, too.[/quote]

1. I'm not  your mother. 
2. Reread above.  I have never once, not once, said anything. Yes, I'm  sure they know I would love grandchildren because they know me, not because  I believe I was holding my tongue when I wasn't.  
3. Additionally,  I've been more than vocal about my own mother's lack of choices in the 1950s, which,  in my opinion, would  have  resulted  in her never having kids. 
4. I have not alienated my kids. In fact, many  of **their**  child bearing friends have alienated them, which they actually feel comfortable enough to share with  me. And-they are sad about that.  Different life paths. **Talk about holding my tongue.

That being said, it is ridiculous to assume that each reaction to a situation can't  be mutually exclusive. Just as no one can or should judge you for your decision to have or not have kids, there shouldn't be judgement regarding the impact of  that  either.  Each  will have their  own emotions.

But, odd that you did, despite  indicating for so long that you wouldn't,  have kids. So something must  have changed your mind (?)[/quote]

Why do you assume I have kids? Anyway, you may want to read this thread " I don't want my parents to visit us while we are at my brothers house....how to handle?" in the Family Relationships forum and be grateful you dont have to deal with any crazy in your life. Oh wait, you are the crazy.[/quote]

This has really gotten nasty for no reason. Op has tried to explain she doesn't need more activities and you are getting very angry over someone expressing sadness.  Consider pondering this. [/quote]

[b]No one here is as angry as the OP over....well, nothing. If she came on complaining about adult children who couldn’t adult, or had children who they were ill-equipped for, then I will admit we would be sympathetic. But OP has had a full life and her children are living their own full lives...what is the problem?[/b] [/quote]

Right -- the problem is OP's inability to accept a reality that isn't what she dreamed of.  My childhood best friend is one of 4 sibs who live all over the US.  Her parents chose among those 4 locations and moved to be near 1 of the kids (my friend).  They moved to an assisted living facility, made new friends, found a church, joined tennis and bridge groups, volunteered for political campaigns and got a subscription to the symphony.  They travel frequently to see their kids in other places (and the kids come there because they chose a very appealing location).  Yes, they have grandchildren, but they also have dealt with a reality that isn't what they expected or what they themselves experienced.  They're the most well-adjusted and happiest older parents I know.    
 [/quote]

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