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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's is what the women partners told me before I became a partner: you can't be both. If you want to stay in the practice and succeed, delegate, delegate, delegate, both at home and at work, but mostly at home. You need back up plans for your back up plans. Some had various combinations of the following: live in parents, nannies, au pairs, SAH or flexible spouses, always full child care coverage options (not always needed, but always available) from 7-10 pm, plus weekends; cleaners; laundry service; food delivery, meal prep (several had home chefs or full service housekeeping); tutors; sometimes drivers for the kids.[/quote]

I would have walked out the door right then and there.

When are you delusional women going to realize that you are being asked to "delegate out" the very fabric of your lives?[/quote]

Truly devastated that "cleaners; laundry service; food delivery, meal prep" and lawn service are not the fabric of my life. [/quote]

What amount of time with your children is the fabric of your life?[/quote]

Honestly? Only 1-2 hours a day are “fabric” quality and the rest (cleaning, yardwork, grocery store) I would very gladly do without :)[/quote]

So you're falling for the myth that there is quality time (with kids) and non-quality time. This is a lie. There is only time.  If you find drudgery in chores that make up life, then that is on you. I assure you, young children do not see it that way.[/quote]

I don't think that's right.  There is a big difference between the time spent, for example, cooking where you can (at best) pay nominal attention to the kid and time spent actively playing or reading with the kid.[/quote]

Just because it is not “active” time does not mean that it is not important.  My parents both worked but my mother was adamant about home cooked meals.  Her time spent on that showed me what she values (healthy homemade food) and transferred that value to me.  I also frequently talked to her while she was cooking, especially as a teen.  That was a time when I felt comfortable telling her things because the fact that she was doing something else always made it less intense or something, like she wasn’t interrogating me as we often do with teens.[/quote]

But we are talking about little kids here.  And we are talking about relative value.  I'm not saying there is no value to plopping a baby in a bouncer so she can watch you cook dinner and you can, on occasion, pay some attention to her.  But it is substantially less valuable than active time.

Almost all parents have to make choices, even more so if you have a very demanding job.  I think it makes complete sense to outsource some things that provide only nominal value to be able to have more real quality time with kids.[/quote]

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