Reply to Do you have a difficult child and how do you define one? Not special needs. Just difficult.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really feel like I’ve found my people.

My 10 year old DD is a difficult child. Displays many of the same traits others have described here. Never slept as an infant, would cry probably 75% of the time. Extremely hard to get her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. She cries over the slightest things. Extreme aversion to loud sounds, bright lights and sun. Hair washing is terrifying to her and doesn’t happen without epic fights and meltdowns. Terrible sleeper, will cry for hours because she can’t sleep. As a baby if we tried to let her “cry it out” she would get so hysterical she would vomit.

These days, she’s moody, disagreeable, and so quick to snap back with a comment. Every single mealtime is a battle over what we will eat. Even if I say “you pick!” we get nowhere because she seems incapable of just making a decision.

I could go on and on.

PP who says your jaw hits the floor when you see little kids who will play quietly - same here. My DH and I would take her to grocery shop and marvel at the babies just chilling in their strollers/carts while our DD was screaming, trying to pull things down from shelves, and on and on ad infinitum. [/quote]

Same, although my difficult one (my 9 year old DD, the oldest) was a pretty easy-going baby, and didn’t get difficult until three or so.  We have put SO much work into helping her, and it’s helped a lot, but still.  What finally resonated with her was realizing she tends towards negativity, so we work to identify positive things, help her learn to reframe, etc.  She’s one of those difficult kids who is an absolute angel at school and with others; she saves the difficulty for home.  I realize there are benefits to that, but it’s also deeply exhausting to be the one who has to help her regulate all the time.

Our middle kid is the very easy going one (youngest is very average in that regard) and it still boggles my mind sometimes how he’ll just wake up cheerful, happily go with the flow, etc.  He has his moments as kids do, but his baseline is so good-natured.[/quote]

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