Reply to Help me Edit: Response to Brookings Report

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Reply to "Help me Edit: Response to Brookings Report"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=jsteele][quote=Anonymous]Hi Jeff, I will include some structural and copy-edits below, in bold. Hope you find them helpful.
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Thank you very much for your suggestions. [/quote]

Great, glad to hear it.  I'll add one more suggestion, adding a little bit of wordsmithing:

[quote]The key conclusions of the report are obvious and simplistic: that school selection is influenced by real estate prices and neighborhood segregation. The data in the report is hardly required to make this conclusion. In fact, I hardly know anyone familiar with the DCPS system that does not agree with this. And the report hardly advances the discussion about solving these problems.[/quote]

suggestion:

Moreover, beyond the data and analysis issues, the key conclusions of the report are obvious and simplistic.  The report's first and most important conclusion is that school selection is influenced by real estate prices and neighborhood segregation. Yet the data in the report is hardly required to make this conclusion. In fact, I hardly know anyone familiar with the DCPS system that does not agree with this statement.  Because the report merely restates a problem that is widely acknowledged, even without discussing the quality of its data the report does not advance our thinking about the problem, its sources, or ways to fix it.[/quote]

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