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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really would not appreciate someone thinking about a way to entertain my child on my trip and then giving me the tools and instructions for her idea. That's incredibly presumptuous and over the line. Go mind your own business please. 
[/quote]

This.

You know, reading this thread and thinking about my own experience, one of the things that strike me is that a lot of people don't want to let new moms figure stuff out on their own. So much of the advice you get is couched as "Oh well, I wasn't sure if you knew about this so..." and the problem is that whether you knew or not, this kind of interference takes away your opportunity to come to things on your own.

The problem is that the process of trial and error and figuring it out as a mom is how you become a good mom. Full stop. Even if you had a sister or IL or friend who really did have all the answers, it wouldn't do you any good for that person to just tell you everything you need to know about taking care of your kid and even gave you all the tools you needed. Because becoming a good parent is about developing your instinct and your knowledge of your own kid, and reaching a level of comfort with figuring things out and making decisions.

That's why is so annoying when people come in with that the "Oh, have you tried.." and "well, let me show you how..." or giving you toys and products you didn't ask for. It's just not really what you need.

The most universally helpful thing you can give a new mom is emotional support. Even if it's just saying "Hey, just wanted you know I think you're doing great. You're so good with him." That is so much more valuable than a million little gifts (that you now need to sort and organize and send thank you cards for). And it's free! If your love language is gifts, try giving the gift of support.

Also, bonus: letting someone figure things out on their own so that they can acquire the confidence and joy of mastery that comes with that process is also one of the best things you can do for your kids. So when you support a new mom by backing off and letting her figure it out, you are actually also demonstrating good parenting. A gift that keeps on giving![/quote]

Well said!![/quote]

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