Reply to Separated soon to be ex H is moving in with AP... DS has never met her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been separated (in-house) for over 6 months now due to infidelity on his part. He announced to me last night that he plans to move into AP's house before the end of the month and expects to have our DS (9) overnight there with him during his every other weekend time. Problem is, DS doesn't know AP exists and thinks we split up bc "we just couldn't get along anymore." I have been advised that I can't do much to stop this scenario, so I'm asking for tips on how to handle the situation in the best way to help my DS through it. I am sick thinking of DS having to share space with a perfect stranger, in her house, in another town.

Has anyone BTDT? [/quote]

OP my advice is to:

1. Attend a coparenting course provided by the court, and your STBX do the same as a show of good will between both parents and to draw a line in the sand between custody, visitation, and child support. This is separate from divorce and marital settlement terms.

2. Look for a family therapist. You’re going to need one.

3. Discuss the options of shared custody and be realistic about whether this is something ideal for the child. The age matters; there are recommended strategies and sample schedules uou can look up and info around how this works.

4. Find an attorney that can give you a consultation, even if it is a couple hundred dollars, just to discuss your circumstances and get their opinion on best approach to resolve.

5. Document everything and stay on A+ behavior.

6. Find mental and emotional support for yourself as you prepare for this process. Don’t throw money that you could use for a housekeeper or nanny/education to bicker in court and pay your attornwy $450/hr to sit in court with you and be your therapist. Go to a therapist![/quote]

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