Reply to Separated soon to be ex H is moving in with AP... DS has never met her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone - the couple is still MARRIED! Her husband wants to move away to his mistress and insists on overnights. For that he needs his wife's consent, or a temporary custody agreement/court order. It seems to me the husband insists on doing it "his way" without any legal rights to do so or any expense. Mom can just as easily say no to her child leaving the marital home stating overnights with a stranger, basically. Just like she can say no to field trips, overnight camps etc

Besides, all those 50/50 fans - it doesn't look like AP or dad even want the child 50/50. They only want to "host" once in a while. You can't force 50/50 even via court on any parent. And it will be unhealthy and psychologically  damaging for the child to be in a household where he's not wanted.[/quote]

No, he doesn't need her consent or an order.  As a parent you can do what you want until there is an order.  No one is saying that he is not wanted in the other household.  Dad is wanting every other weekend as its easy but why agree and make it easy on him.  There are no allegations of abuse or  neglect,  just poor marital behavior.  [b]Mom isn't going to get to control what happens on Dad's time.  You are setting this up for a horrible custody battle when that money can be better spent on the child.[/b][/quote]

This is so true. The advice to try to manipulate and control a parent (mother or father!) through a “separation agreement” which isn’t legally enforceable until decree anyway, is just horrible for the child and their environment. Go to court, have a shared custody hearing, set a trial date. Request terms. Why meet the EX & AP on their level? Do the best you can, to give the child a place of emotional well-being and don’t throw away opportunities for financial security with that child too.[/quote]

Why should the MOTHER go to court, set the trial etc? It seems that dad wants zero expense AND at the same time overnights at his whim. If that's the case, HE should go hire a lawyer with a retainer and take matters to trial. Instead, he just wants her to agree to his terms without spending a cent. And the terms are not good for the child, either. [/quote]

It literally is free to file for custody. You go to the court and you fill it out. The order is the authority she is seeking that is why she does it, because she isn’t petty AF, and won’t create more drama by pouting about who does what first. You request the court help. You go to the hearing. You don’t have to have a lawyer for everything. You don’t have to have a trial. You can find settlement packets online that walk you through all considerations Stupid people that don’t understand the point and purpose of the law and its enforcement. An order provides mom AND dad with custody or both of them shared. It makes it clear I’d god forbis something horrible happen medically or in an emergency otherwise.

If they (mom and dad) cannot figure it out, a judge will. And rule. Eventually.

Counselors (legal) — my heart goes out to those of you with clients in this area. Good grief.[/quote]

But there is no word about him offering her any amicable custody arrangement. He just wants the kids overnight once every 2 weeks. She can just as well tell him "no" and not waste time on courts filings. [/quote]

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