Reply to Lonely, Empty Marriage After Dead MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I hear you.  Could you document the racism in DH's social/family circles?  Does anyone here think that would help/ensure a full custody arrangement? [/quote]
I have A LOT of documentation. Over the years, I started writing his parents e-mails raising their racist comments with them. I also got copies of racist things they wrote about me. Not to mention so many other examples that aren't documented. But even then, nothing is guaranteed as far as custody goes. Lawyers I've consulted have told me that family court turns on the judge you get. Some white Boomer judge who is himself someone's racist in law might rule that DH has learned his lesson and can be trusted to share custody. Right now, with DH's relatives banned from the house and any FT conversations happening with my earshot, my children are safe. No more comments about how the boy has to be watched before his "other side" kicks in and he steals something. No more comments about my toddler daughter showing "slutty" tendencies. I kid you not. These people have said that and worse about my children while my husband did nothing. I will never forgive him, but I have to be pragmatic.[/quote]

YOU are your children's first and best advocate, YOU. There's no way in hell I'd stay married to him. It's one thing for his parents to be racist, it's another for him to not stand up for his own children. You are not doing your children any favors by staying in this marriage. What will they think of you when learn of the choice you made to stay in this marriage?? And they will find out, for sure. You staying in this marriage isn't being "pragmatic," it's being stupid. [/quote]

[b]OP, tge above poster is white and has no idea what your children could face if left alone with your husband.[/b] You’re doing the right thing. Dealing with racism is hard. The people like the above poster who choose “not to see race” are exhausting. You’re doing the right thing to protect your children.[/quote]

Wrong, lady. I'm biracial, just like her children. One black parent, one white. You people kill me thinking you know everything about every poster. It's laughable.

Staying with a racist is NOT protecting her children. Her husband clearly has an issue with blackness which is why he has refused to stand up to his own family to defend it. And proximity to blackness (like marrying a black person) does not exclude him from being racist. How do you stay married to man who is unwilling to protect his own children?? My father would never allow a racist to talk about me and not defend me. Never. Hell, even Harry had the balls to leave the royal family!

She's better off without him. [/quote]

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