Reply to How do army wives with 5 kids manage? I can barely take care of 2 kids w a spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They have access to fantastic, incredibly cheap child care. How cheap? As low as 160 dollars a month for full time care (sliding scale based on income). Plus drop-in daycare for 5 dollars an hour. Essentially free healthcare for the whole family, and a housing subsidy. [b]Obviously, all in exchange for a really risky job.[/b]
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It's not just the "risky job."  There's a lot more about military life that is more difficult than civilian.   
It's the time away from family for months or even over a year at a time.   Sometimes with very little notice.   In 2003 my husband was told that he was leaving in 3 days, with absolutely no return date (it ended up being 9 months, but we didn't know that until a few days before he came home.)  He missed our son's birthday, Valentines Day, His birthday, my birthday, our anniversary, etc.  During the time he was in/we were married he deployed several times (each time 6+ months) and the most notice we ever got was 2 months.

It's complete lack of control over many aspects of your life.   Yeah, theoretically there is a "wish list" of duty stations, but I've only met a few people that have had that honored.   If they tell you you're moving somewhere, you have to do it.   Oh, well the family doesn't have to go--but the military member does.  Most families want to stay together.   Unlike any other job, the military member can't just turn in their two weeks notice and quit.
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This seems so hard.  My heart goes out to you.

Logistics of caring for small children aside, I always thought the hardest part would be how much I would miss my spouse during deployments.  Occasionally my husband travels for 3-4 weeks, and I miss him like hell.  Yes, I miss his help with the kids, but what I really miss is having him there to share a private joke or give me a look or a smile that he knows what I'm thinking, or hold my hand while we are taking a walk, or to try to look down my shirt while I'm loading the dishwasher :).  
9 months is a long time.  That sounds so hard.   [/quote]

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