Reply to Does SAHM make a difference during infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous]I never had the choice of a nanny. We could not even find a nanny share within our budget. And even the nicest daycare we looked at, I couldn’t imagine leaving my baby there at 3 or 4 months old.

For me, the choice between SAH or returning to a job I didn’t particularly love, with limited potential for advancement, so that I could hand over my entire take home pay to a daycare I didn’t totally trust was an easy one. My DH was supportive and fortunately I loved being home with my DD and really enjoyed the baby and toddler stages.

But I think context is everything. The PPs saying they found an amazing nanny they loved? That’s great but not an option for everyone— a FT nanny who is well qualified will cost 40k+ annually. And I would have loved to WAH with help from a nanny, but that arrangement is so rarely available (pre-Covid at least).

One reason I hate how much judgment women have of one another on this subject is that for most of us, our choices are pretty limited. It’s hurtful to judge people harshly for doing their best with what they have. There is so much meanness and vitriol on this thread, and for what? What goes that get you?

Do what makes sense for you and is within your means, OP. That’s the right choice for you and your baby. Anyone who will tell you otherwise is not worth listening to.[/quote]

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