Reply to Does SAHM make a difference during infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous]Mother and baby are a dyad for the first year, and maternal depression and anxiety can impact the baby. So taking your own mental health into account is important. Not everyone is cut out to do 24/7 care for a person who can’t move themselves, might be in pain frequently from digestive or teeth issues, and essentially needs help to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom. If I told you you would be doing that for a miniature elderly person for a year, I doubt you would romanticize it.

I WAH for the first year and nursed on demand, with the help of nannies and babysitters. My baby did not get confused about who mom was. But my more extroverted baby really enjoyed playtime with the creative and energetic young women who would swoop in with fun ideas and games. My second slept a lot and probably was only awake with the nanny when not eating for 2-3 hours a day. They had a close bond and at the same time, the child was definitely not confused about who the parents were. I liked being able to be there with them and help read their cues for the first few weeks until I could see their caregivers were very attuned to them.

Think about it — in an organism as complex and intelligent as a human being, the addition of another interesting person to interact with in the environment is probably quite stimulating and enhances their social development just by modeling a different way of being in the world. If you have a good nanny, it’s like having another close auntie or friend. Who wouldn’t want that for their child?

Finally, I think a bit depends on you as a person. I felt like I had more go give energy wise to my kids when they were 2, 3, 4 because I wasn’t drained from having been with them round the clock the first year. It’s definitely a marathon and they need you at every stage. [/quote]

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