Reply to Advice on how to get over not having another child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Yes, we are an active family - lots of trips, incl international travel, skiing, surfing, lots of theatre, after-school activities etc. - and that is a big factor in a decision against a third. However, I like at least a 3yr age gap so I can enjoy each child individually and give them my proper time and attention. I think that three kids under 3 or 4, even under 5, is a big blur in the young years to a lot of my friends, although with proper help they manage. I would hire help for the the youngest child. I feel like the older ones would need me more, and the needs of 1-4 yr olds can be met by any competent nanny (we are fortunate to have had one). I am even comfortable with leaving a young child with a nanny while we travel, because he/she will neither remember that, nor would they really miss out on active hiking/skiing/European trips, in which they cannot meaningfully participate. Lastly, DH and I are comfortable to divide and conquer as needed, since we do it with the 2 we've got anyway.

To the poster who said that I should not have more children because we never consider a third: we are all allowed to change our minds based on new information, no? I never imagined how much I'd enjoy being a mother. Despite having had a big career, lots of travel, going out to events and dinners, friends, hobbies etc prior to kids, I now find myself in a position where none of that matters to me as much as my kids, and none of it brings me as much joy as spending time with them, even in the more boring baby and toddler years. Hence those new feelings and thoughts about a third. Yes, volunteering, helping out those in need, fostering etc. are fulfilling, and I do a bit of that, however I am allowed to value time with my kids more than any of it.[/quote]

If you need to hire help for the third, don’t have it.  Your other two will be in school.[/quote]

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