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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Off topic, but who actually read PPs 23 paragraphs??? And this is after meditation? [/quote]

I am PP, you are right, even I gasped aloud when I hit submit then saw how long it was.  :lol:

TLDR? I was in a LTP monogomous relationship with my SO, years in, did all the right things, and during a time when WE had an ectopic loss and *I* was on bed rest, while crawling over broken glass to obtain my graduate degree, he gave me the silent treatment. Eventually patterns emerged. Critical, not sharing, other things i won't disclose because he is an idiot and doesnt deserve to know where he screwed up. Bottom line i have an IUD and discovered condoms, 18 used with someone that was not me, man or woman who TF knows. Thankfully, I have always been STD free with testing and he after we got pregnant from failed condom and plan b before I understood him being nervous of me getting pregnant again and we would use a very specific type of condom. We had not used these condoms and 18 were missing. I did not confront, I thought about it instead of flipping out - and in that time he called the police to take me away because he was a coward that didn't deserve the worst I had to give in life, because his best couldn't handle it with the decency of even a respectful goodbye, apology, nothing. I am not a clunker car. Real women and real men with real good to give require real talk. I didn't even try to talk (For once) I was just -- thinking. And not flipping out. I refused to engage in any uncomfortable interaction. No confrontation. No conflict. No disagreement. No stonewalling. We spoke about the weather. The TV show. SOmething else. But not the elephant in the room. No yelling.

The way that he ghosted me is disgusting and i derailed and hopefully only wrote in one language. It was too long to proofread so im not sure. :lol: He asked me to join him to buy a relationship book, he suggested therapy, and I was quiet as I thought about 18 orgasms he had without me while I was loyal and faithful and -- betrayed. He said lets go to the bookstore. I said no, I don't want to go to the bookstore in the snow to get a book I have on my phone and have begged you to even look at for 5 sec. I want to sit. For a moment. He called the police, calmly requested they remove a guest from his home, stayed on the phone with dispatch until the officer arrived an he went no contact into his bitch ass snake hole of a room that allowed lord konws how many claws to rip into his sheets. He stayed in that room without one word.

So -- while i concede that the post was obnoxiously long and poorly written, I was furious for good reason and it still was healthier than drinking or doing something wreckless or wasting any energy on him. Rather I figured I would divulge my soul to the internet and let someone konw -- it hapened and it is just abandonment and rejection and a dismissal of your worth and all in a moment with no preserved dignity or respect for anything that may have been good to salvage. The man i thought i was going to marry f*cked at least 18 times, who knows how many times he let someone swallow, while i healed form losing a fallopian tube and his baby and his parents and family celebrated my pulling out of a tough time, and as i was getting better he was getting guiltier and he just cheated and then went into his bedroom closed the door and never spoke to me or my daughter again. This was not a short term thing this was no booty call. I though we were a pack. But really he was just a lone wolf that probably ate his own and needed new talent to sniff out a new trail from the stench of his cheating ass. Before our anniversary, btw. And valentine's day. And even posting here like a punk -- or trying to spy on me like a PUNK -- he hasnt expressed one single morsel of remores, apology, appreciation, nothing. I may as well have been the walmart greeter. I havent heard one.single.word. Neither has my child. I suspect he went into his old rotation of a woman that he cheated with before, an ex that resurfaced, or a trashy coworker that compartamentalizes as easy as him. I am the other woman, he has to have a twin

I am still not as bad as the "what should I bring to the hospital post". But... for a DCUM cone of shame equivalent, and for the grace bestowed by the compassionate DCUM GP, I subject myself to this sacraficial offering of a gif.  :wink:

[img]https://media.giphy.com/media/NhCalqzQ7FJg4/giphy.gif[/img]

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