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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is such an old thread but I just came open this. My DH is just like OP described. What has helped us is just letting him learn the hard way. He used to call me a micromanager too.

He started to pay more attention after he left my car unlocked and it was stolen from in front of our house (in NW DC), our refrigerator flooded our kitchen due to being left with a drawer a smidge open, and numerous times I have come home and the front door is wide open or with a key in it. Another time he left his car unlocked and then found his belongings strewn all up and down our street. Even these times he has often denied responsibility, but I can tell he knows deep down he did because he has started to shift his behavior. We have been together 10+ years.

My advice would be that when you can bear it, just let the consequence occur. Don’t “save” it. I’m not saying to be negligent and ignore issues, but like if I were to have “saved” me and my husband from these issues I would have to check our cars every time he drives them, check the doors each time he goes in/out of the house, check the fridge. Omgee I would go nuts. Instead just live your life and let it happen. I think in parenting they call this a “natural consequence”. [/quote]

Natural consequences only works if it ends up being a teaching moment for the person and they then proactively fix their behavior thereafter.

Having a disorder and chronically losing things and forgetting things - unless there was behavioral therapies or exec functioning coaching and lists all over the house (check this when entering the house, when exiting the kitchen, before coming downstairs, etc.) then you’ll keep buying new stolen and lost stuff for years. [/quote]

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