Reply to sister just told me about disturbing childhood events

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. i know it’s weird to switch sides but i’ve seen it done before on here and i wanted to know without bias of being me if her reaction was weird or understandable or normal. i def received a lot of messages about things being in my head - my mother definitelystifled the discusióons when i tried to voice to her - - to the point where i’ve wondered if i made stuff up but i was absolutely clear even then how not okay it was. to me her response felt unbelievably cruel and not surprising.

i don’t feel okay at all talking about this in detail even anonymously but similar to what PP experienced with the similar situation, although he never told me i would take care of him when my mother died. it doesn’t feel quite like abuse per se and it’s def not rape.

pp my stepdad saved my mother from a difficult situaron esp financially and i know that. i also don’t think people would believe me (because my mother first and now maybe my sister) didn’t.

i do feel an obligation to her kids. as i told her i never intended to tell her unless i suspected it was going on with her too or when her kids were old enough. - i ended by saying i suggest she be careful. and honestly the idea of discussing this with her is so mortifying... i only recently felt comfortable enough to tell my therapist! [/quote]

Stop playing games. [b] You are as much of a problem as they is.  [/b]   Terminate the relationships and move on.  Your mom and stepdad aren't going to change and your sister probably saw it and didn't care or she's obvious and doesn't care and you are not going to change her or save her kids.[/quote]

I have rarely seen such a clear example of victim blaming as the bolded.  Really, she is "as much" or a problem because why exactly?  Because she is grappling with a bad situation from the past and a bad situation in the present and doesn't immediatley know the "perfect" way to handle it?  Wow.[/quote]

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