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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. SIL's DH is a narcissistic alcoholic who doesn't want to check himself in and she has been his enabler for years. She talks a lot about ending the marriage but is codependent and he manipulates her a lot. It's not like she didn't know who she was marrying. The affidavits would carry more weight from her sister and her sister's husband as they have dealt directly with SIL and DH's brother and know their problems first-hand (plus, the sister's husband is actual local law enforcement). My family of origin would know better than to involve me or DH in any problems. I don't know why people here get the impression that SIL's DH is going to die if his brother doesn't show up. That's NOT the case. He's probably just going to continue drinking. This isn't cancer or a true medical emergency. And SIL telling us that DH needs to spend time and money to get his brother sober is ridiculous on her part. [/quote]

Wow. You have a lot to learn about alcoholism. It's absolutely deadly. And nothing here changes anything that anyone in this thread said. [/quote]

Are you nuts? No one is forcing the guy to drink. What happened to personal responsibility?[/quote]

The claim was that it's not deadly, not that someone is forcing him to drink. Yes, it is deadly. Yes, it can be a "true medical emergency." [/quote]

Does your husband care about his brother?  I don't understand what her family has to do with this.  If my sister's husband had a problem that's my sister's husband's family's problem.  I would encourage my sister to leave and let his family deal with it.  This is regardless of my career choice.

I've dealt with people with addiction problems.  In the end it was their family who took care of them once the spouse and kids left.

His wife is his enabler.  I would tell her that if she wants my help that she has to step back and let me do things my way.  My uncle saved my other uncle in a very similar fashion about 25 years ago.  His wife had left, they had no kids.  My uncle went to the Midwest to save our family member.  [/quote]

OP here. You all don’t know what my husband has gone through with his brother’s problems in the past. Bailing him out of jail several times for his DUIs, ferrying him to AA, taking him into his home (before we married) etc. and it really hasn’t helped at all. Now DH has wised up and taken the tough love approach thanks to me. I grew up in a dysfunctional household so I’m very big on boundaries. I just don’t like problematic people and I don’t care if they share DNA with my husband.[/quote]

It sounds like you need help from a professional who can help you navigate through this. 
I don't think your SIL is being obtuse though, I think she is just asking for help for her husband from his brother. I cannot imagine my husband's sister helping me if I were in your BIL's shoes, I would want my sibling to help me. Or vice versa. I think we owe that much to our siblings. [/quote]

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