Reply to My wife cheated on me for 2 years with a co-worker...

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My wife cheated on me for 2 years with a co-worker..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^ we are saying mom is still with the boyfriend and tweens and teens are not stupid.  They will figure out on their own that she was cheating.

If the kid is younger than Kindergarten they won’t understand.

What also is being said is older kids are persistent about “why”.  Why is the divorce comic out of what seems like the blue to them?

[/quote]

Who cares if they figure it out.  "Why" should be answered with "mom and dad did not get along" and left at that.  When they become adults and have relationships of their own, they can know the full extent of the truth but I'd be careful then too.  [/quote]

They will become liars just like mom.  I’m sorry, but every therapist I’ve talked to says lying is horrible for a teens development into a healthy adult.  But , a teen will lash out at mom when she’s living with the boyfriend after the divorce.

Kids learn lying and cheating is okay when parents continue to lie to them.

They used to lie to kids about death, terminal illness, etc. all the studies out there also have revealed that’s scary and confusing to kids.  They now advocate including them in an age appropriate way.  [/quote]

I'm a 100% positive that no therapist told you to tell your kids that their other parent cheated. There is lying and there is discussing things with your children that are totally inappropriate. Face it, you want your kids to hate the other parent.  You want to hurt the other parent.  This is the last bit of control you have over them and the last act of revenge.

FFS you are not teaching your adults to be cheats and liars by not discussing every intimate detail of your marriage.  [/quote]

Then, you would be wrong.  The only place opinions vary on if kids should be told is when the parents do not plan to divorce. IF the couple plans to reconcile--they agree if the kids don't know or ask-keep it a secret. If a divorce is planned, they all advocate telling in an age-appropriate mannter.  Read the articles (it's today's thinking on the matter):

https://www.care.com/c/stories/10103/should-you-tell-the-kids-about-your-partners-infidelity/#:~:text=%22Yes%2C%20Definitely%20Tell%20the%20Kids%22&text=They%20deserve%20to%20know%20why,parent%20left%20the%20family%20home.&text=%E2%80%9CAdmitting%20to%20an%20affair%20will,your%20relationship%20with%20your%20child.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-infidelity/201305/should-the-children-know-youve-had-affair[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics