Reply to My wife cheated on me for 2 years with a co-worker...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can tell the kids matter-of-factly what happened. Don’t get emotional with the kids about it, but don’t hide the facts.
Taking the high road doesn’t mean deceiving them about the facts.

“Mom decided she wanted to have a relationship with another man instead of me. That made me feel violated. We both decided it was better to get divorced because we don’t love each other as husband and wife anymore, even though we love you and want to do a good job parenting you.”

That’s it. Don’t go into more detail than that.  But don’t lie by hiding the truth.[/quote]

I disagree with this. Your kids don’t need to know she had an affair. You’re putting them in the middle. That opens the door for the wife to say “I had an affair because your father neglected me emotionally” or other BS. Your kids will figure it out but you don’t need to be the one to tell them. Just continue to be a good dad. That’s all they care about. [/quote]

Be honest, dads usually get the blame. [b]The kids should know mommy is a whore[/b] [/quote]

No, they do not.  Please refrain from using those terms in general. She can be a super shitty wife and still be a great mother.  Do not involve kids in your shit.  Grow up.[/quote]

[b]When one cheats they cheat on the entire family[/b]. The horrible consequences will affect everyone for years, so don't be so naive.

I don't think pp is going to use that correct term when telling them why they are divorcing. However, kids will want to know and will find out even if it's from a relative. Best for pp to be honest and explain it one time. Just say mom wanted to date other men and leave it at that. He doesn't need to ever talk badly about her, but being honest about the breakup is very important. [/quote]

No, she didn't cheat on the entire family.  She cheated on her husband.  People divorce for all sorts of reasons.  Nothing good will come of involving the children.

I'm not naive.  I put my kids and not my anger first. The ONLY thing that children need to hear is that mom and dad love them very, very much and will take care of them. Period.

I am divorced myself.  My ex is a shit bag.  I do not tell my son that.  His relationship with his dad is separate from my relationship with his dad.  [/quote]

+1 
I 100% agree with you. I also agree that the relationship between a child and a parent is separate and it is really wrong of people to get involved in that. Cheating is between a husband and wife. That is it. [/quote]

I disagree. When my dad cheat he took time away from the family, time he could have been spending with me and my siblings, the money he spent on her was money that should have gone to us, his choices broke up  our world. He created us out of that thing and an intact family.  His choices mean for the rest of  our parents lives my siblings and I have to do a balancing act, and I say this as someone whose parents were cordial to each other, cand oparented pleasantly Yu are kidding yourself if you think cheaing on your spouse doesn't hurt your kids too.[/quote]

Exactly. I laughed when I read that nonsense. It's a destruction that can span decades. My step mother ended up with all the assets, even our family vacation home we went to as kids.  In short, a outsider ended up with the family assets. That's another repercussion among many. [/quote]

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