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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I mean this in the gentlest way possible, but I think I "know" you...

You're in your late 30s. 
You are terrified of settling. 
You've made decent money, have your life all lined up how you like it, except for the partner and kids part. 
That makes it harder to relinquish control to a relationship, life circumstances, the wants and needs of others: a relationship requires that both parties do this to a certain degree.

Assuming you both are on the same page and could be "the ones" for each other, you have two options:

1.) Work on softening a bit and being OK with change or not being the sole decider of everything or not having the perfect Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years/Valentines/Birthdays/Anniversary/4th of July every single year every single time (in reality, sh*t happens to people without demanding work schedules, so this calling it off for perfection is a foolish expectation). If you are not OK with these things, (an equitable, fair) marriage may not be a good fit for you.

2.) Go for it, and realize that you can have a perfectly wonderful life with some schedule difficulties, and you can have a fulfilling work life (part-time, full-time, nanny, sitter, etc...) and be a mother despite how many hours your husband works. Money, which you'd definitely have, helps all of these things a great deal. [/quote]

OP here. All of this except I’m younger than late thirties. [/quote]

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