Reply to Being a working parent (during non-pandemic times)

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Reply to "Being a working parent (during non-pandemic times) - is it as bad as it seems?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it really depends on the support system you have and the jobs you're working. You can't sanely work all hours and dedicate yourself to your job with kids and expect to be happy. But you can find a way to balance it. Maybe you or your partners takes a step back for a bit - or you work PT for a while instead of FT.

I worked PT in a demanding job, but being PT was manageable when my kids were really little. Just ramped up to FT right before the pandemic, and now I'm miserable because we have minimal childcare. I wish I were still PT and might even go back to it in a year or two when I can (am on contract now).[/quote]

Agree with this.

I also think you need to be honest with yourself about what makes you happy.

Does your job make you happy? If not, does the money make you happy? That's really important information to have and be real about before you have a kid. If you plan to both stay in your jobs, you better enjoy working on some level. Because it's hard to balance with having a child.

For me, my child brought me waaaaaay more joy than work. And I don't just mean the existence of my child, I mean the act of being with her and parenting. It was hard at times, but I found it much, much more satisfying than my work. And as a result, I pretty much immediately changed my work. Did something similar to this PP (moved to PP, and a WFH position, so that I could maximize my time with my child). I had friends who said "Oh no, don't quit your job, don't scale back, you just have to get through this tricky part right now and then you'll be so glad you stayed." I think they said that because they liked their work more than I did, and also maybe didn't enjoy the day-to-day of caring for a baby as much as I did (and no judgment there -- not wanting to SAH with a baby does not make you a bad parent, it's a perfectly reasonable preference).

Anyway, you just have to know yourself and find your own path. 90% of the posts on this thread are trying to give you a roadmap, and honestly? It's BS. You have to make your own map, and only you know what your priorities are or what's going to work best for you.

The one thing I will tell you is that I was unsure about having kids for many of the same reasons you are worried, and I have never, for a single moment, regretted having my kid. She is the light of my life and I know it sounds cheesy, but all the challenges are worth it because my relationship with my kid, and the family relationship between my DH, my kid, and me, is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I don't know how other people feel, but for me, it's all absolutely worth it.[/quote]

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