Reply to Advice for a west coaster moving to the east coast

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "Advice for a west coaster moving to the east coast"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the "passive-aggressive" versus "direct" phrasing is a question of framing, and not factually-based. My DH, who jokingly calls himself an "east coast escapee" at times (we are on the west coast, he grew up in MA) says that he thinks folks in New England and NY say they are "direct" but what they mean is that they are "unnecessarily rude just for the sake of being mean." Of course, he moved out west for college and never once looked back, so I think his opinion is skewed. Similarly, what east coast folks call "passive aggressive," west coast folks call "basic courtesy."

I grew up in California and what I have seen is that some people come to California and just absorb it and flourish, while others never feel comfortable. I get it, I don't think I'd ever feel settled on the east coast, but I think there are some folks who move east and just take to it. Not sure which one you will be, OP! Honestly, it's probably better to be a person who can enjoy both -- shows better mental flexibility and a healthier outlook.[/quote]

On the other hand, as an east coaster who made the move out west, I found the people unspeakably rude, and lacking in basic courtesy.  A lot of things I would expect on the east coast, like people looking you in the eye when speaking and seeming honest, forthright, and like they respected you, just seemed to fall by the wayside.  A lot of the people i interacted with seemed like they couldnt care less about a person or even viewed them with contempt.

I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but I noticed most big morning and talk show hosts come from the east coast and seem to be imported to the west coast.  So it seems like that friendly vibe is one people get from east coasters more often than west coasters[/quote]

The whole point is that your personal experience isn't representative. People have been different experiences and preferences, and so words like "rude" versus "direct" are a matter of opinion not fact. That's okay. Your talk show host thing seems outright weird, though.

In any event, mentally healthy and robust folks can live and thrive anywhere. It's a negative thing to negatively characterize a whole coast, not a positive thing. It's not something people should be boasting about. It shows a very limited world view. [/quote]

Sure, but we can also have objective ideas of manners and/or niceness.  Most people would agree that saying "Thank you" is an act of politeness and omitting is rude.  Most people would agree that lying to someone and backstabbing them is not nice.  Words have meanings.

I dont have a "talk show host thing", just an observation that most of the most popular radio/ morning hosts have originated from the east coast.  Not sure why that would be "weird", unless you're just expressing a general displeasure with this fact.  Which would seem to stem more from it contradicting your assertion that west coasters are just as friendly and convivial as east coasters.  When it would appear that, based on which hosts get chosen and build large fanbases, does not appear to be the case.  Not based on general opinion, at least- which is the tool you would use to judge social skills/abilities [/quote]

Uh, talk show hosts come from the east coast because that's where the major news media is based. It is same reason why tech companies come out of silicon valley. Do you not understand how that works?

And I have no idea what you are going on about with respect to words have meaning. Uh, yeah? So what? What New Yorkers call "direct," Hawaiians would call "unbelievably rude." Those words all have meaning, yes? I'm sorry if this is a disappoinment to you, but as it turns out the world does not universally agree that you are the universal arbitrator of everyone's lived experience. I realize this will come as a shock to you but it's true.

I'm honestly confused by what point you are trying to make, except that you seem to have a virulent dislike of California based on some experience you had twenty years ago, which goes back to my point about being mentally flexible and how that is really a good thing in life. 
[/quote]

Huh?  That makes no sense considering the entertainment industry is almost completely based in Los Angeles.  If anything, theyre continued sourcing of hosts from the east coast would be an expense, not a help.  Actually, if you look at most actors and musicians, they are way overrepresnted by LA locals and people from the west coast in general, because it's much closer to Hollywood, obviously.  The exception being personalities that are expected to speak on camera and "have the gift of gab", in which case you start seeing the east coast over and over again in representation.

And yet, we're not basing our opinions around what Hawaiians alone think.  Like I said, most "social" rules tend to be crowd sourced- i.e. what the general population thinks.  The general population clearly shows a preference for east coast radio hosts, presenters, interviewers, morning hosts, etc, which is proof that, whatever Hawaiians may or may not want (I trust you havent interviewed any on this issue), the general population far prefers east coast conversational skills.  And that's that![/quote]

Okay, I'm out. Go ahead and continue to obsess about something that happened twenty years ago and talk show hosts. Your odd fixation is definitely making a strong point in this argument, just not the one you think it is. Yay you! You win the argument! You are right for sure![/quote]

Um... thanks?  I mean you could attempt to address any of the substantive points I've brought up, or the others who posted statistics about racial segregation in Los Angeles, but sure, have a meltdown instead.  Maybe try to find your "west coast chill" by smoking a blunt or something.  Anyway... [/quote]

Yeah, sorry but PP has a point. Here’s the thing: LA has a small black population. 8-9%!

So, you just aren’t going to see the presence of many black people in LA. And yes they are kept out of the Westside because of prohibitive real estate, but so I am I!  That’s what people are living in other areas of LA, and leaving the Westside. [/quote]

Yeah, as previously covered, we're not just talking about black people.  We're talking about mexicans being relegated to the east side, asians being relegated to koreatown, armenians in glendale, and very specific ethnic areas and regions that keep completely to themselves.  That is essentially segregation. It's very, very bizarre. [/quote]

It may have been set up that way in the early-mid 1900s when various populations starting settling in Los Angeles, but when I walk through LA now it is more diverse than any city I’ve ever been to. People like to live in communities with other people who share their culture. And btw, many don’t. Many do live in other areas in the city.  In the beginning, it certainly was segregation, but these areas are thriving. Jews in Fairfax. Armenians in Glendale. Persians in Westwood. But, let’s be honest. There are Persians, Armenians, Jews living in every pocket of this city!  This isn’t segregation. You’re doing a disservice to the word segregation. Taking meaning away from it. I guess I’m proud of Los Angeles. It’s one big crazy melting pot. And it’s irritating to me when someone goes to Beverly Hills (filled with old rich Jewish people and rich Persians, btw) and acts like that’s the norm for LA. It just isn’t.

Regarding racism: absolutely rich people are racist. Not going to argue with that!

Most people are POC.

[/quote]

Well your version of Los Angeles is very different from the version of Los Angeles that I saw.  There's a reason there was big talk back in June about taking the George floyd protests to the "white parts of town" (specifically the Fairfax district)- because that is where white people live and overwhelmingly white.  I know in my nice apartment complex in West Hollywood, it was pretty much all white.  A few asians mixed in.  That's shocking, in a city with a 60% hispanic population.  That's not my idea of diversity, even if the vast scale of Los Angeles county allows it to be technically called diverse.  The reality is little pockets of the city where the residents dont really mix with other areas.  The reality is a POC being profiled when they venture into the white sections.

The reality is every single POC friend I have that moved to LA has spoken to me of the increased racism and racial tension they felt in LA.  So yeah... LA has a lot of issues.  The LA riots happened for a reason [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics