Reply to 10 year old told me he thinks spouse is cheating on me -- advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I just spoke with DS again. He was looking at DH's phone without permission. He saw pictures/porn. He has begged me not to tell his father because he's not allowed to play with our phones without permission. I've told him over and over that he's not in trouble, no matter what.

But, he is afraid that his dad will be angry with him, he's afraid that the family will "blow apart" and it would be his fault, it's all just awful. He feels terrible. He said it was an app called kitkat (but he said it was not spelled with a ka? I'm not even sure what that means). He wants me to check DH's phone and see what's going on (should I tell him that's the same advice I got from DCUM? kidding....)

Added to that, I don't know exactly what my DH did. Was he looking at porn? I'm not going to divorce over that but I will still be extraordinarily pissed off that he allowed DS to see. Or is it more than that?

I don't know how to have DH reassure him somehow when he's begging me not to tell DH that he saw anything in the first place. Ugh.[/quote]

You should thank you son for telling you.  You should reassure him that you will not be telling his dad what he did or saw.  You should also tell him that marriage is between two grown-ups, and now it is your job to figure out what to do with that information.  Just like the information your son told you was private and will not be shared with dad, the conversation you have with dad will be private between dad and mom and not be shared with DS.  Grown ups decide about the parameters of their relationships, and no matter what you and dad decide to do about staying married or not, you are both committed to being good parents to DS.  Whether or not your family stays together, now or in the future, it will never be your DS's fault.  Adults decide whether or not to stay married.  [/quote]

It's called KIK, it's a messaging app. This is used by men who cheat. You've been warned. Good luck. [/quote]
Op already knows her husband is cheating. She doesn’t need to be “warned”.[/quote]

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