Reply to How do 2 full time working parents make it work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both of those rich bitches (daughter of immigrant non-white moneybags and white money bags) need to take their fight somewhere else and let us dual working parents with incomes only a fraction of theirs figure out how to deal with reality.

- non-white immigrant[/quote]

Then the topic of this thread should have been "How do 2 full time working parents (with HHI less than  x amount) make it work".  Since that was not what was asked, you just have to grin and bear it.

Alternatively, try and understand that the model of having multigenerational families living together and pooling resources can solve your money, childcare and eldercare problems.  Probably will help with your mental health issues too and make your family more relient against job loss, illness and other ups and downs.

[/quote]

PP here. That's great it works for you (and I say it sincerely), but I don't want to live with my parents and they don't want to live with me.  My ancestral cultural norms meant that the husband's mom lived with her son's family and ruled the roost...including physical abuse of her daughter-in-law. You as the DIL kowtowed to her completely and your job was to be subservient to her, your husband, and children.  I don't choose that.

Also, my white husband's dad is dead, so he can't live with us, and my MIL hates non-white people and doesn't get along with women. So that rules out both of them living with us.[/quote]

PP here. My guess is that your MIL doesn’t like you for other reasons, not those that you stated above. Of course it’s convenient for you to have your parents live with you...I knew you wouldn’t have the same generosity towards your inlaws. And then you go on and on about how multigenerational family living is the best model. You wouldn’t like it if you had a Chinese or Indian MIL living with you, would you? I just convenient because it’s your own parents and you get to benefit from it. And then you have the nerve to put other people down  who don’t  choose the same living arrangement for whatever reasons.

I’m happy with my arrangement. I love my family but don’t want my immigrant parents or inlaws living with me as long as they can take care of themselves. We are involved in their lives and they are involved with ours but not too close for comfort. Our children have a very close relationship with both sets of grandparents and we model the importance of family by always being there to help one another when we need it. And we don’t need to hire a ridiculously amount of ‘staff’ to help us run our household because we can easily handle it ourselves, with some cleaning and yard help.

Finally, I’m floored how you could stereotype all Asian MILs in that manner. You should examine your racist attitudes towards your own culture. Im not surprised though considering that you can’t  even acknowledge your parents’ immigrant background.
[/quote]

What the fresh hell is this? Can you read? I am [b]not[/b] the multigenerational household.  I specifically said that I do NOT live with my parents, and that while my parents and I love each other, neither of us wants to live with the other.  They live 9 hours away.  My MIL has issues- calls Latinos sp*cs, Black people the N word and porch monkeys, Asians ch*nks, and gay people f*gs and d*kes.  She had a very dysfunctional childhood and it's her own son- my husband- who says she doesn't like women.

I was replying to the multigenerational poster (again, who is NOT me) to let her know there are some reasons why multigenerational living isn't possible.  I didn't say ALL Asian MILs are abusive- I said norms in MY culture have traditionally been dysfunctional, often times physically abusive.

Have some coffee; it'll help you wake up.[/quote]

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