Reply to Something Mil told Dd

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think being the sole parent on the holiday means the OP needs to do what works for her, not what works for her MIL. If DH is solo parenting some holiday (seems unlikely but if...) he can make a different choice based on what works for him.  I do not understand everyone assigning the OP additional emotional labor [b]on behalf of...what? [/b]A metaphorical gold star from a a MIL who makes snide comments? A metaphorical gold star from her husband who *doesn’t want* to be around his family? A DD who gets to have a stressed out mother on the holiday in addition to no dad? Who are these posters trying to save here???[/quote]

On behalf of her freaking kids?  Or maybe common decency?

The fact you had to turn one muttered "it's not fair" into "a MIL who makes snide comments" is telling.  If OP had even one other example of her MIL disrespecting her, being ungrateful, being snide, she certainly would have presented it in any of her flailing follow-ups.  Years of different treatment and complete disregard for her kids' relationships with her paternal grandparents leading to exactly one offhand comment is not a "snide MIL."  If you have a leg to stand on you don't have to twist the narrative like this.[/quote]

I may have turned one snide comment into “makes snide comments” (and yes, I feel like talking about “getting” a holiday like people’s time and affection is her due, as well as the fact that the woman’s own son doesn’t want to spend time with her, are likely both symptoms of a larger problem personality) but the idea that it is in any way better for her kids was made up entirely from thin air.  The DD already has the holiday without her Dad, I stick by the idea that it’s better if the parent getting 100% of the responsibility for making the day meaningful for the child gets to decide how to do that in a way that works for her.  OP should not ruin her own Thanksgiving because her mother in law can’t be thankful for a DIL who already went further for her than her son would have. [/quote]

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