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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I can't tell if you are just venting because you are under so much stress or if you've already decided you want a divorce and you're looking for validation on the internet? Do you want to try to save the marriage or are you done?[/quote]

OP
I’m done being unhappy 
I can’t do or contribute any more
I don’t want to manage him or lower my standards
I also don’t want to fight with him and be disappointed all the time
He makes me feel bad about myself so yes I’d probably prefer to be alone than in this relationship with him [/quote]

Yes, but realize not everything is going to change if you divorce.  Your H will likely get 50% custody and you will have to pay him child support. He doesn’t have to agree to birthday parties or play dates when the kids are with him. You will still be answering all the calls from the school and other parents. You’ll see your kids 50% of the time. If you sign them up for music lessons or sports, H doesn’t have to take them during his custody time. It’s the same as now, except you see your kids half time and pay your H child support. [/quote]

Thanks 
I’d be surprised if he took them half the time but when he does they’ll be on iPads all day long 
I feel trapped 
But what do I do?[/quote]

OP, you are not trapped.  You have options. None of them are perfect, but you can do better than the current situation.  It doesn't sound like you have any love left for your husband, but are torn about divorce because that would mean relinquishing some control.  That would be one of the trade offs.  You have to figure out the best (imperfect) option for you and your children.[/quote]

OP
Yes I understand the options 
But my biggest source of stress and frustration is worrying about my kids, divorcing their father and leaving him with them in his home when he can’t even follow a schedule or plan we’ve put together in our shared home is daunting [/quote]

But none of this means your kids are unsafe, right? I mean so they don't go to practice or piano class, the world will not end. It sounds like he will feed and clothe them and not let them play in traffic. [/quote]

So the most I should expect of my stay at home husband is that he keeps the kids alive?!
This would be ok with you?[/quote]

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