Reply to I wish my WOHM friends would stop judging my SAHM parenting

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Reply to "I wish my WOHM friends would stop judging my SAHM parenting"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It works both ways.  [b]SAHM’s constantly criticize WOHM’s for not raising  their children[/b].  If you are so confident in your decision, just ignore the comments.  [/quote]

And here we go again.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this OP. This area is particularly annoying because there’s a substantial number of working who do not feel complete unless they are putting down SAHPs. It comes from a place of insecurity and a massive victim complex. They don’t know how not to be on the attack.[/quote]

Or it comes from SAH parents making supposedly innocent comments like, "oh my gosh, I don't know how you do it! I could never bear to leave my small children, they are my everything!"

If I hear this sort of comment, I will absolutely go for the jugular. With a smile. [/quote]

Why does this bother you any more than, "How can you stand being a lawyer? I could never read that much boring stuff?" I am not a SAHM and haven't said this, but why can't it just be their experience/preference and nothing more?
[/quote]

DP. Can you really not tell the difference from your example? That's something.
[/quote]

No I really can't, because I take it as about the other person and who they are, and neither one would bother me.[/quote]

Another DP.

Your example would be better illustrated with “how can you stand to be a SAH mom? I can’t imagine losing my identity like that.” It’s the equivalent kind of dig at the other person’s values. [/quote]

Yes, the equivalent question isn't the lawyer question, it would be something like "How can you stand to be subservient to your husband like that? I could never be such a doormat in my marriage, I value partnership in marriage too much!"

Both are incredibly rude. The lawyer question is rude too, but nowhere near this level.[/quote]

The thing is, if I'm confident of my values and that I'm doing the best for my family with all my other "inputs," so to speak, it doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks. Inputs being my personality, likes/dislikes, strengths/weaknesses, earning power, spouse and his characteristics, number of kids, their needs and personalities, etc., etc. I might not want to be friends with them if I think they are rude, but if I think they are rude that's even less reason to care what they think about my choices.[/quote]

The issue is that OP is bothered by comments like this, although what she is reporting seems a lot more innocuous than these example comments. As for the general question of why it bothers people, because they are human and have bad days, and rudeness makes bad days a lot worse. People aren't robots, you know.

I don't see why anyone would need to make a comment like these examples anyhow. It's terrible behavior. Kindness goes a long way.[/quote]

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